The following article is a joking look at the more paranoid depths of the Bitcoin community. We urge you not to take it too seriously. But don’t take it too lightly either – that’s what the Masons want you to do, after all! 

Nothing will slip past the vigilant conspiracy theorists whose sharp-sighted gaze from under the safeguard of a trusty tinfoil hat constantly screens for surface signs of the secret struggle for power between the true rulers of all people – secret Societies of the high and mighty, the political and economic elite of the Western World. 

There are rumors springing up here and there about certain global events being caused by ominous Illuminati and Masons, fighting for control over the lives of ordinary people. Apparently, the Illuminati, who fight for a New World Order and freedom for all, being a younger and more forward-looking fraction, designed the free and highly mobile Bitcoin system as a primary weapon in their war against the conservative and outdated Masons. 

Your sides may already be hurting from hysterical bursts of laughter at this point, but it is only because you shut your eyes to the Truth. You’ll thank me later, when you wake up to find that your bank account wasn’t seized by interplanetary conquerors, and your TV wasn’t hacked to show you hideous lizard-men faces grinning at you in a smug lordly manner 24/7, because you have done something to prevent it! 

First of all, to understand the picture in its entirety, we have to go back to the very beginning of this story. 

When someone says “Masons” what do you immediately think of? Is it “USA”? “Federal Reserve”? “Dollar”? “Reptoids”? “Get a life”? Everyone has their own associations but most of them are connected in one way or another to the only superpower that exists today. Indeed if there was a secretive elite society aspiring to concentrate the power over lives and minds of people in its own hands, what would be a better tool for its purpose than the currency which is the most used in world trade, its ruling body and people who govern the economy which secures this currency? Nobody needs reminding that Masons weren’t even ashamed to put their official symbol on dollar bills thus making the best-selling merch to date. 

To see how all this is connected to current events we’ll have to go back to where and when the USA moved into its current state of superpower: middle of the twentieth century, in Japan. WWII ended with the USA and Japan signing a peace treaty on board of USS Missouri and ever since that moment Japan was held in a tight grip by US government following its Masonic agenda closely. 

Now though the events going on in Japan can be of very great concern to the Masons as they endanger their control over the country: Woodland Patchwork, a micronation within Japan’s territory that already violates its integrity and centralization of authority declared the Bitcoin its official currency. It’s “The enemy in our own backyard!” all over again for Masons

Let’s move to the neighboring Korean peninsula where things aren’t great either: 

South Korea, which is practically at the USA’s disposal once again as a result of a war (this time it was Korean War), shoots down a North Korean UAV which was, as claimed by one of the conspiracy theorists on, owned by the Illuminati, who bought off the North Korean authorities and convinced them that it is a mere testing of a simple strike drone. In fact, they used it to distribute Internet connection and free data flow (through systems such as DataCoin, which allows encrypting and incorporating any data into its blockchain) to facilitate a democratic revolution . According to the Guardian, they have reached certain success

The Masons cannot afford losing such a convenient demonized adversary as totalitarian DPRK that can be used as an excuse for oppressing the masses and a justification of their international crimes, akin to terrorism. As such, they used their subordinate South Korea to put an end to Illuminati activities and try to ship the drone’s debris to the US for further analysis on board a ferry. The Illuminati gruesomely evened the situation out by sinking the ferry

Another zone of Illuminati activity would be Malaysia where they have supposedly stolen a plane . 

At this point, some of the more susceptible members of the community may start to see a pattern here: the entirety of Pacific Asia is a field of battle in an ultimate proxy war that is about to break out in full force. The Illuminati have their Woodland Patchwork as a Japanese foothold, Che Guevara-level drones and a private airliner while the Masons have their usual tools such as Obama and his cabinet. 

It may seem that everything will be resolved in China, which was independent from foreign influence the longest and now is undecided whether it wants to ban any operation with Bitcoin or fight with Masonic Japan over disputable islands

The Masons have already taken the first step by sending Obama on an eight-day tour of countries in question, so that he secures the Masonic influence and assesses the presence of the Illuminati in the region. Now the community is frozen in anticipation of the response of the Illuminati, which will determine the outcome of the war over Asia, and, by extension, the entire world. 

We are not necessarily saying that all of this is true, but remember: Obama spent four years in Jakarta during his childhood. I’m just saying