Brexit or Not, EU is One Pig’s Breakfast Served Lukewarm
Referendums are the whooping cough of Europe, but whatever happens, Chicken tikka masala will remain.
Remember Grexit? Think back a bit when the whole world was on their seat’s edge and wondering if Greece will or if they won’t exit the European Union.
Well fast forward to today and here we are wondering the same about the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Brexit the bogeyman
As a person who was born in a Union (The Indian Union) and who has lived a great part of my life in one, I could tell you a thing or two about these sort of entities. The strain is real. We in India have several states that want to exit as well. In fact the Indian government has been fighting violent insurgencies for as long as the Union has existed.
The European Union though deals with things in a more ‘civilised’ manner, in the sense that they have periodic referendums on the fate of this or that.
Chicken tikka masala will stay
News is that the British are hoarding on foreign currencies. Holidaymakers according to The Telegraph newspaper are hoarding euros and dollars as if there is no tomorrow.
After all doomsday predictions of a 20 per cent fall in the value of pound can rattle many a nerve and even make the stiffest of British lip quiver. Fear not though because the joys of remaining in the European Union may be many but there are also benefits of wading your way out of the EU as well.
British cookery can see a revival, as foreign restaurant workers make a swift exit, maybe a Brexit may actually be good for ‘Indian’ (read Bangladeshi) restaurant workers as chicken tikka masala remains the only edible food in the country.
The braver might want to try the more traditional boiled fare. After the exit of the Polish plumbers, the locals can enjoy talking about something else other than the weather. Leaky faucets make great conversation centerpieces.
They may also want to discuss mould, drips and clogged drains. As for British holidaymakers, they might want to rediscover the mildly sunny British seaside, no euros or dollars necessary.
Euro1, Euro2 and counting
Whether or not Britain stays or leaves, the EU’s story of woes has just begun. Well let's be honest, the EU suffers from what the Dutch know as the ‘Cucumber Season’. Whenever there is a slow news day, they need something to make waves about.
So if it is not Grexit, there is Brexit and tomorrow after we are all done with the Brexit referendum, there are more exits to come.
Marine Le Pen is already talking about a Frexit. Italy’s 5 star movement too wants to have a public day at the hustings on the issue of the Euro. The party thinks that it is time for a Euro2 (not to be confused with the emissions standard), a currency for the poorer southern part of Europe, while the north sticks with the Euro1.
The Swiss which are home to countless referendums too have had their say on EU immigration through one, which has put them on loggerheads with the EU.
Maybe it is a time for a F**Kit
Most people don’t really care too much for the European Union, even within the union. The worldwide impact of the EU has been negligible. It has proved itself to be a stumbling fool during US invasion of Iraq as well the Balkans conflict.
In fact it was Henry Kissinger who once famously remarked, ‘Europe? Give me a name and a phone number! ’ Europe remains a pig's breakfast and everyone can have a good go at it. After the British are done with it, it is the turn of the Italians and the French.
After all nearly 46 per cent of Dutch have an unfavourable view of the EU, 48 per cent of Germans, 49 per cent of Spanish, 48 per cent of British and a whopping 61 and 71 per cent of French and Greeks hold a negative view of the European Union according to numbers released by Pew, in a document called ‘Euroscepticism beyond Brexit’.
So do not expect this to be the last slow news day referendum. My word of advice to you all is to f**Kit and sleep a good night’s sleep and stop worrying about the impending Brexit and other exit bogeymen.